Week 7: Boom you're a birdwatcher

First, an ask:

I’m hoping to produce or write something (perhaps an article, perhaps a series of profiles or interviews) highlighting families that are inventing their own rituals and practices; re-imagining older traditions in ways that fit their realities and values (gender politics, budget constraints, Millennial sensibilities, locations, any other forces at play); or recommitting in earnest to cultural and/or religious customs.

What do I mean?

• It could be a small example: I mentioned a few weeks ago that I’ve been reading a particular sentimental and meditative board book to my kiddo every Sunday in lieu of attending any religious services.
• Or it might be a more complex one — for example, my friend recently described how she and her partner created their own take on the Annaprashana, or first rice ceremony, for their baby, in a way that felt authentic and meaningful to them and to her own parents.
• Or maybe you or someone you know previously had a more relaxed relationship with a religion or holiday but have a renewed, stronger commitment to it now that a new generation is in the mix.

Perhaps because of my own situation, I’m particularly interested in families with different racial, ethnic, religious, regional, etc. identities represented and who have babies or young children, but I’m open to others.

I need:

1. People to interview! Is this you or someone you know? Are you open to a conversation or can you broker an intro? If so, please reach out (juliacsmith@gmail.com, or you can DM me on Twitter or Instagram). If your story turns into a piece, we can identify you by name or it can be anonymous.
2. Suggestions for places to pitch! I’ve started a list and will happily share it once it’s a bit longer.

To thank you, here is an imperfect, no-filter phone photo of “our” tree this morning.

And speaking of trees

I saw this meme on Instagram:

I’m thinking about what we let go and what stays with us.

Friday: Facing east on a brown line train, riding downtown for a #justice4laquan march and streaming WBEZ over my headphones, minutes after the Van Dyke verdict was announced. Jen White, host of 16 Shots, turned to a colleague and had them read the statement from the Illinois Fraternal Order of Police. I gasped audibly. Then I felt naïve for being so physically shocked. Still, I thought: “I will never forget where I was at this moment.”  

Saturday: Dark blue IKEA armchair, gray weather outside, funky breastfeeding posture (feet at odd angles, baby in right arm, left hand phone-scrolling). I look at social media and see that Kavanaugh has officially been voted in. We knew this would happen, and still my stomach drops as I instinctively pull her closer to smell her hair, and I think again: “I will never forget where I was at this moment.”

All of this buildup, all of these pots on our mental and emotional stoves simmering and simmering in the weeks before. And here we are. Honoring one another. Realizing we’ve left other pans burning. Overflowing and trying to clean up. Making our grocery lists longer. Telling ourselves we can find new ways to be with one another, to pursue justice and equity, reminding ourselves that actually, we are the chefs in this fast-evolving kitchen.

Some of us have the luxury to breathe and regroup. I chopped onions and cried into a pot of this on Saturday after I put my kid down for her nap. Not everyone is so lucky.

And speaking of beans and greens

I read this NYT piece, Stopping Climate Change is Hopeless. Let’s Do It., and tried to imagine it in President Bartlet’s voice with the West Wing score swelling underneath.

This part in particular landed at just the right time, Wednesday at “ugghhhh, I seriously committed to writing and sending 35 weeks of emails?!” o’clock:

Historically, we’ve tackled the biggest challenge — that of meaning, and the question of how to live a life — through the concept of “practice,” in the form of religion, cultural tradition or disciplines like yoga or martial arts. Given the stark facts, this approach might be the most useful. Practice has value independent of outcome; it’s a way of life, not a job with a clear payoff. A joyful habit. The right way to live.

Such an approach will require dropping the American focus on destination over journey, and releasing the concepts of “winning” and “winners,” at least in the short term. As the journalist I.F. Stone was said to have explained: “The only kinds of fights worth fighting are those you are going to lose because somebody has to fight them and lose and lose and lose until someday, somebody who believes as you do wins.” He added: “You mustn’t feel like a martyr. You’ve got to enjoy it.” Or as Camus put it: “One must imagine Sisyphus happy.”

And speaking of losing and winning

Run for Something. Higher Heights. Indivisible. Sister District. Swing Left.

And speaking of learning journeys

During a family wedding this summer I was delighted to learn that my younger cousin Rachel, a college student, is an avid bird watcher. She and her dad have been passing binoculars back and forth to study specimens in their Pittsburgh backyard for years. I had no idea. So the other night after I texted her to make sure she’s registered to vote next month, I asked if she’s still birdwatching even though she’s back on campus. She replied:

(That last part reminded me of a moment in June when my mom was visiting and surmised that the tree outside of our front windows is a white ash. She explained that there’s a simple process you can follow to identify any tree, by looking at the shapes of the leaves and how they attach to the limbs. The Arbor Day Foundation has a website for this that feels like a Buzzfeed quiz!)

And in the midst of all of this…

Speaking of pausing to savor and learn, the happiest weekend of the year is almost upon us, Chicago! Over the years I’ve visited a toy factory, a Buddhist temple and a beautiful church, a model railroad club, artist lofts,and The Plant — all with zero advance planning and all for free. I walk by the Athenaeum Theater every day and always think of this visit with my parents during Open House weekend 2015:

When things are swirling the way they are, it’s good to pause and look around and maintain a sense of place if we can, right?

Here’s hoping you have some leaf-crunching or pot-stirring or new therapist-dating (it’s World Mental Health Day today!) or delicious deep sleep ahead of you in the coming days.

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